The slumbering muse

It seems my shop is as cluttered as my mind these days. My muse is still hibernating in her deep winter sleep. I'm hoping that a little "spring cleaning" will pull her out of her slumber and spark my creativity.

So.. Everything in my shop is 50% off with free shipping :)

And to temp you... here are a few of my favorite "oldies"

Making Friends...

I wish I knew how better to improve Connor's social skills. It breaks my heart to see him try SO hard to play with others and be friends with them, and then to have the kids turn around and tell him they don't like him, or worse, to be mean to him, pick on him. And he doesn't understand that they're picking on him, he thinks they're playing with him and so he tries harder. :( I just don't know where to start with helping him learn. I don't want to see him end up like me. I have such a hard time making friends.. and keeping them. We went to the zoo today and he was playing nicely with this one girl and they were having a great time chasing each other, until another boy came up to play. One that was good friends with the girl. And he decided he didn't like Connor. And said so, repeatedly out loud. So the little girl decided she didn't like Connor either, telling Connor to go and play with his brother instead. :( And he didn't understand that he wasn't wanted.

I just wish I knew what would help.

A little bit Sensory

So since I decided today was a bust for the housework.. I decided I'd let the kiddos have some fun with the paints. We haven't really sat down in a while and really had fun with them. I decided to let Brae play with a canvas board I had laying around. So I let him pick the acrylics he wanted, gave him a brush, put blobs of the paint where he wanted, and just let him go to town. :) The result looks interesting. I let Connor do the same using cardstock. Connor has been "stuck" on painting flowers lately, so it was refreshing to see him just get in there and get messy for once. I will probably put Brae's canvas up on Etsy, it has some interesting strokes to it, and pretty color choices :) So look for it in the next few days!

Dear God, it's me, Mel...

A day in the life of an Aspie mom: Withdrawing

There comes a time when you have had enough of what's going on. Those are the days where you just want to shout to the skies, "Could you just leave me alone for once?" I feel those days creep up on me. There's a tickle of panic at the back of my mind, screaming. When the kids are demanding nonstop, the house isn't clean, the husband isn't happy... A normal person gets cranky and overwhelmed in these situations. Understandable, right? Everyone needs a break every now and then. But you see.. I'm not normal. When the panic starts to tickle I shove it down. I try to function. To keep the kids happy, the house clean, the husband happy. The tickle becomes an itch. The scream becomes a roar. I shove even harder, but the seams are starting to tear. The kids get worse, the house gets worse, the husband gets worse. Then the itch becomes pressure, the roar becomes thunder. I shut down. Everything in my life gets magnified by a million. And the guilt. The guilt is overwhelming. No. Overwhelming isn't a strong enough word here. Guilt over the state of the house. Guilt over not spending time with the kids. Guilt over the unhappy husband. Guilt over being me. Those are the days when I can't stand to be touched. When I hide at my laptop, hoping the kids are happy with the TV and a bowl of chips for hours. Those days I shrink away, leaving a mommy shell, one that functions just enough to make sure the kids are fed, clothed and changed. Now this may last a day or it may last a week. And when the dust settles, I crawl out of my shell and pick up the pieces and put them back together, add a touch more superglue, and hope it lasts a bit longer than the last time.

My thoughts on Biomedical Intervenions...

There seems to be a good bit of controversy regarding the use of biomedical intervention for children on the autism spectrum. It makes me sad to see all of the constant bickering. On one side, you have individuals that feel that parents should accept and love their children for who they are, and not try anything to change them. This group seems to openly criticize parents who are using biomedical intervention, making comments about not loving their children. We'll call this group A. Then you take the other side, the group of parents who try numerous types of intervention, both conventional and biomedical, group B. They want to "cure" autism. There are arguments going on within the biomed group about the causes of autism, from environment, to genetics, to vaccinations. Parents doing biomed often involve themselves in countless hours of research. They don't take on a new intervention lightly, though to the outside world they are shown as desperately trying anything and everything. The biomed group has been known to fight back against group A, with comments such as "How could you possibly not want to give your child every opportunity to succeed? You don't love your child."

And then there's the medical community. The medical community in general frowns upon anything biomed related to autism. They will be quick to mention how in "double blind" studies, these treatments don't amount to a can of beans.

Now.. My thoughts..
I treat my children biomedicaly and traditionally. Autism for my family is GENETIC. I have Aspergers. My boys have PDDNOS. My daughter most likely has Aspergers. My children are not vaccinated. Am I in any way speaking against those who believe vaccines trigger autism? Hardly. My official theory on the matter is that autism is genetic. BUT.. (yes, there's ALWAYS a but!) I feel that some families who have a predisposition to autism, but not an actual HISTORY of autism, can be effected by environmental triggers, such as heavy metals, medication side effects, pollution, and even the things that we did before concieveing, things our parents did. I believe it ALL effects us in ways we do not yet understand.

Do I love my children (and myself) and accept them for who they are? You bet I do. I will always accept them for who they are. I wouldn't change who they are for anything in the world. I love them unconditionally. But if I could better their situation by any means, I WILL. Regardless of whether I treat with traditional medication (ie. ADHD meds, antidepressants, etc) or biomedical interventions (such as MB12, multivitamins, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, etc). Treating with biomedical interventions to me is no different that traditional medicines. Diabetics treat in a biomedical way by altering there diet. Same with patients who have heart disease. They alter their diets, and may try things such as garlic and Omega fatty acids. Those are BIOMEDICAL ways to treat! But yet, no one feels those are "quack" treatments. They are viable options for dealing with their issues. Treating Autism Spectrum Disorders with diet, supplements and such is no different.

To the medical community, I say BACK OFF. There is a reason that medication works the way it does on the body. That's biochemistry at play. When certain supplements work the way they do, that's also biochemistry at work. It's knowing WHY they work on the body the way that they do that is important.

To group A, I say that those who decide to take an alternative approach to autism love their children no less and no more than you do. I would ask that you be happy for their successes and not begrudge them nor attack them. Wanting to try new things to give their children the best they can doesn't make them crazy, foolhardy, dangerous nor abusive. It simply makes them parents.

To group B, I say take a chill pill. Cut the non-biomed community some slack and ask that they do the same for you. Just because a parent wants to accept their child as they are and not try the latest and greatest treatment does not mean they love their children any less. They still want the best for their children. They aren't giving up.

I don't care who started this fight, but it needs to end. NOW. We all want what's best for our children. We need to come together to help our children in this day and age REGARDLESS of our methods.

addiction... :)

I think I have a new addiction.. No, not Etsy.. That's an OLD addiction, one I'll admit, but won't do anything about *laughs* No.. My mom introduced me to the wonderful world of PASTELS. ;) The only bad thing, can't use them while the kids are around.. So finding time to play with them.. limited.. but Oh the wonderful things I could do! A little new eye candy for you.. They're listed in the shop as prints :)

Happy today

The sales seem to be going really well lately! And I'm not really doing anything differently *laughs* It's a great thing! I contribute 10% of all my sales to a great foundation, the Dockery Foundation. They do so much in the Desoto County area for our kids, and parents too! Connor is in his first Soccer team :) And they do Arts for Autism, and there's talk of even more new programs soon. So far this month I've raised $4.00 :) And the month isn't over!

I'm working on some new pieces. A cute mixed media collage for the beach :) And hopefully the kids will let me get some good paint time in :) I have Bounty Challenges to do, and new stuff to work on for the EAST Team (more on that later!) :) Hope to get those creative juices flowing!

I'll leave ya with a new goodie I just relisted. I digitally colorized a black and white painting I did. Turned out very well! I'm pleased!